imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
