I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
