My first STD was from a foam party
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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