First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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