I think I am morally bankrupt
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
