We're facebook friends in real life
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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