i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
