I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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