Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
