i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
