hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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