guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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