Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
