he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
