i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
