I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
