just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
