How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
