Farmville is her only friend.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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