I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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