That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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