i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize