I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
