can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
