Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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