it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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