I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
