dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
