I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
