Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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