I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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