They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
