so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
