so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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