So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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