How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
