I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you traded sex for a burrito?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
