I could make wine with my vomit
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
