she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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