Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
