It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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