we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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