Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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