does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
