so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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