white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
