This is not my ceiling
Your dad touched me again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
