White coat. Heels.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
