I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
