Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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