Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This house was built for laser tag.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
