i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
