I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
