Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
