i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
