i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
