I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
