One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize