Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
