You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
