you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
