she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
